Between Worlds: Staying Connected to Your Hometown While Living Abroad
Since 2017, I haven’t stayed in my hometown, Washington, D.C., for more than three months at a time.
While I’ve been building a life abroad, navigating new cultures and chasing personal ambitions, my family, friends and the city I grew up in have been moving forward, too. Birthdays, weddings and even the city’s rhythm—from protests at the National Mall to new developments—have all unfolded without me.
This distance is a reminder of the sacrifices I’ve made to create a life on my own terms. Washington, D.C., isn’t just a backdrop to my story; it’s a city of change, history and personal significance.
Living abroad forces you to reconcile two realities: the life you’re creating and the one you’ve left behind. It challenges you to redefine relationships, success, and your sense of belonging. This post reflects on how that journey has shaped me—how I’ve learned to appreciate my roots, embrace distance and find a new sense of "home" in a world that’s constantly in motion.
The Parallel Lives of Home and Abroad
Living abroad opens up a world of opportunities that can be as thrilling as they are transformative. Each day offers a chance to immerse yourself in new cultures, develop independence and grow in ways that only come from stepping out of your comfort zone.
Meanwhile, back in Washington, D.C., life has its own rhythm—one I’ve come to witness through a screen or hear about in conversations with family and friends. The city I grew up in has continued to evolve in my absence, shaped by cultural shifts, political milestones and local developments.
Two Versions of Growth
The growth that comes from living abroad is undeniable. It’s shaped by new experiences and challenges that demand resilience and adaptability. You learn how to communicate across cultural barriers, develop routines in unfamiliar places and appreciate the diversity of perspectives that come with traveling.
At the same time, your loved ones at home are growing in their own ways—pursuing careers, starting families and hitting milestones that define their lives.
Your Growth Abroad:
Gaining independence and confidence by navigating unfamiliar environments.
Embracing discomfort, whether it’s cultural misunderstandings or logistical hurdles like finding housing or work in a foreign country.
Discovering new passions and ways of thinking that reshape how you see the world.
Growth at Home:
Watching friends and family achieve life milestones: new jobs, weddings, graduations, and even day-to-day changes in their routines.
Seeing D.C. itself evolve, from the political climate to new landmarks and cultural developments.
These two paths of growth may seem disconnected, but they coexist in meaningful ways. This dual growth has taught me that home doesn’t stand still—it’s constantly evolving, just like I am. Recognizing and appreciating these parallel lives has allowed me to maintain a sense of connection, even when the physical distance feels overwhelming.
Watching Major Events From Afar
In today’s world, technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected to life back home. From live streams to video calls, I’ve been able to virtually "attend" major events that once would have been entirely out of reach.
But technology doesn’t fully replace the experience of being physically present. Watching a wedding on a screen or scrolling through photos of a family event can feel surreal—it’s as if you’re watching a movie of someone else’s life, even though you know you’re a part of it.
Living abroad and watching life at home from a distance has taught me to rethink my relationships and priorities. Physical distance has a way of clarifying what’s truly important.
Quality Over Quantity: When you can’t be there for every family dinner or casual hangout, you learn to focus on the moments and connections that truly matter. The relationships that endure despite time zones and miles are the ones that hold the most weight.
Meaning Beyond Geography: I’ve come to understand that being "present" isn’t always about being physically there. A thoughtful message, a late-night call, or a handwritten postcard can sometimes mean more than being in the room.
How Lifestyle Changes Shape Relationships
Choosing an unconventional lifestyle—living abroad, pursuing personal growth and embracing new cultures—doesn’t just change you. It also affects how the people in your life perceive and interact with you. The distance and success that come with this path often evoke dual reactions, both inspiring and challenging your relationships in unexpected ways.
Inspiration: Some people admire your courage to step outside the norm, chart your own path, and create a life that reflects your values. They see your journey as proof that taking risks can pay off. Friends have told me my stories inspire them to travel more, pursue their own ambitions or even rethink what they want out of life. Those conversations feel deeply rewarding because they remind me why I chose this path.
Comparison: On the other hand, some may struggle with feelings of envy or inadequacy. They might question their own choices or feel uncomfortable comparing their lives to yours. Subtle shifts in conversations— comments that carry an edge or moments where my lifestyle feels like a point of tension rather than celebration. These reactions aren’t necessarily about me; they’re often a reflection of an internal journey.
As your life evolves, so do your relationships.
Distance: Some relationships naturally fade as your priorities, experiences and day-to-day realities diverge from those of your friends and family. It’s not always about conflict; sometimes, it’s just a natural part of growing in different directions.
Engagement: Others lean into your experiences, eager to hear your stories and draw inspiration from your journey. These are the friends and family who make an effort to stay connected, even when it’s inconvenient.
Managing these changing dynamics requires both empathy and intention.
Focus on Genuine Relationships: Prioritize the connections that feel authentic and reciprocal. These are the relationships where both sides make an effort, even as circumstances evolve.
Recognize Their Internal Journeys: Understand that how people react to your lifestyle often says more about them than it does about you. Their envy or discomfort may stem from their own questions about life choices, not from a lack of support.
The approach to sharing your journey can also shape how relationships evolve.
Authenticity Matters: When I talk about my life abroad, I don’t just focus on the postcard-worthy moments. I also share the challenges, like feeling isolated in a new city or dealing with the uncertainty of a nomadic lifestyle.
Own Your Achievements: Avoid downplaying your success or lifestyle to make others comfortable. It’s important to celebrate your wins while remaining approachable and humble.
Lifestyle changes inevitably reshape your relationships, but they also clarify which ones are built to last. The people who celebrate your growth, accept the distance, and continue to support you are the ones worth holding onto.
The Choice to Sacrifice for a Bigger Goal
The path I’ve chosen is deliberate. I knew from the beginning that chasing my goals and living abroad would mean missing out on certain moments back home. I knew that the life I wanted required these trade-offs.
A Clear Decision: "I gave myself no other option but to build a life that reflects my ambitions. Time moves fast, and I decided to move with it."
Ownership of Sacrifice: This mindset has helped me let go of guilt. I don’t dwell on the milestones I’ve missed because I understand they were necessary sacrifices for the life I’m creating.
Every major choice in life comes with both gains and losses. Living abroad is no exception.
What You Gain:
Independence: The ability to rely on yourself in unfamiliar environments fosters resilience and self-confidence.
Cultural Immersion: Experiencing new traditions, perspectives, and ways of life broadens your worldview in ways nothing else can.
A Self-Designed Life: Living abroad allows you to create a lifestyle on your terms, free from the constraints of conventional paths.
What You Lose:
Physical Proximity to Loved Ones: Not being able to stop by for a family dinner or attend a last-minute celebration is one of the hardest sacrifices.
The Immediacy of Shared Experiences: Watching a wedding via livestream or celebrating a birthday virtually lacks the depth and warmth of being there in person.
Choosing to sacrifice proximity for a bigger goal isn’t always easy, but it’s a choice I’ve made with intention. The trade-offs have been worth it, not only for the life I’ve built but also for the way those experiences have enriched my relationships and perspective. Living abroad has taught me to honor the balance between what I’ve given up and what I’ve gained—and to celebrate the journey every step of the way.
Lessons From Living Between Worlds
Every time I return to D.C., I notice things I once took for granted. The city itself has evolved, just as I have. I see its vibrancy and cultural richness with fresh eyes, recognizing how these elements shaped my identity before I ever realized it. But my evolving worldview has also reshaped my understanding of D.C.—what it stands for, how it connects to the world, and how its pulse mirrors both progress and tradition.
Living abroad has also highlighted the ways home transcends geography. The city’s essence lives in me, shaping how I see and interact with the world. Each new country I visit makes me reflect on D.C.’s influence, from its resilience to its diversity, and how it taught me to value both rootedness and exploration.
Understanding Relationships From Afar
Distance has a way of clarifying relationships. Some bonds grow stronger, grounded in mutual respect and a shared understanding of each other’s lives. These are the friends and family who stay connected despite time zones and physical separation, who celebrate your wins and make the effort to stay a part of your world.
Other relationships naturally fade—not out of conflict but because life takes you in different directions. This distance doesn’t diminish the value of those connections; it simply reflects the reality of change.
What I’ve learned is that the relationships that endure are the ones built on genuine care and reciprocity. It’s not about how often you talk but about the quality of those conversations and the respect that underpins them. These connections remind me that even as I navigate life abroad, I’m never truly alone.
Conclusion
Living between two worlds—my global life and my D.C. roots—has been a balancing act, one that’s shaped by both connection and detachment. It’s a unique dynamic, being deeply tied to a place while also feeling separate from it, but it has taught me invaluable lessons about ambition, success, and relationships.
This journey isn’t about leaving Washington, D.C., behind. It’s about carrying its lessons with me as I explore the world. The resilience, community, and drive I grew up with have become the foundation of the life I’m building abroad. The distance has taught me to cherish not just the moments I share but the life I’ve chosen to create.
As you navigate your own path—whether it’s living abroad, chasing a big dream, or simply stepping into the unknown—I encourage you to reflect on how your choices have shaped your definition of home and success. How have they changed your relationships, your perspective, and your goals? Share your thoughts, and let’s continue exploring this journey together.