52 Hours in Guilin: Sunset Trains, Noodle Propaganda and Airborne Chaos

Stop six of the 9-city sprint through post-COVID South China.

Train to Transformation
Left Guangzhou 🚄, still sweaty from urban density.
Concrete jungle, glass towers, smog breath… then boom:
Green peaks.
Karst mountains.
God’s knuckle bones sticking out of the earth.
The sun dipped behind the hills like it was clocking out early. 🌄🛤️🧘‍♂️
Arrived Guilin at night. Feet aching. Soul curious. Game on. 🎮

—

Scooter Acquired: Vibes Engaged
First move: rent a scooter. 🛵
No helmet. No map. Just reckless intention.
I hit the streets like a confused tourist-turned-local NPC.
Next stop: Sun and Moon Twin Towers 🌞🌛🏯
Lit up like it was Beijing 2008.
Felt like I was in an anime opening sequence.
Tourists were posing. I was sweating.
One auntie asked where I was from. I said, “shantou.”
She nodded like it made sense. 🌃📸💦

—

Late Night Feast: Noodles
The hunger hit like a punch from a Taekwondo toddler.
I duck into a themed noodle shop 🇨🇳🍜
Red lanterns. Loud music. Nostalgia posters.
Order the signature 桂林米粉 (Guilin rice noodles).
They hand me a bowl of history:
Pork, pickled beans, mystery sauce, and vengeance.
Flavor level: Revolutionary.
Stomach status: Overthrown. ✊🔥🍜

—

Li River Cruise: Scenic Depression
Next morning: Li River cruise time 🛥️🌄
Beautiful. Ethereal. National Geographic-core.
I’m floating through ancient postcards.
But by 90 minutes in?
Everyone’s asleep 😴💤
Aunties snoring. Tour guide on autopilot.
I just sit there whispering to the mountains:
“I am awake. I am weak. But I paid for this.”
One fish makes eye contact with me. I nod. It nods.
Spiritual exchange complete. 🐟🧠🪷

—

Yangshuo: Main Character Upgrade
Arrive at the dock. Now in Yangshuo. 🏞️
The air? Cleaner.
The town? Smaller.
The vibes? Cinematic.
I rent another scooter. No destination. Just divine chaos.
I’m driving through tunnels. Singing to myself.
Drop my camera in the middle of the road.
A BUS is coming. 💀🚌📸
I stop middle of the road, Grab it. Stand up like nothing happened.
Laugh hysterically not because i didn’t die but because the camera is not broken.
Manic episode = complete.

—

Unexpected Aviation Arc
On the horizon: a fan-powered plane thing + hot air balloons 🎈🪂
I must find it.
Drive like I’m in GTA Yangshuo edition.
Reach a random field.
No ticket booth. No rules. Just vibes.
A man straps me in.
“可以吗？” he asks.
“不能也要飞,” I say.
We launch.
I’m above mountains. Above rice fields.
Above my own limits.
I deep breath then exhale
“This is kinda cool.”

i whisper to myself🦅🧍‍♂️💨

—

Final Verdict:
Guilin gave me:
• Sunset mountain portals 🚄🌇
• Top-level noodles 🍜🇨🇳
• Peak NPC cruise energy 😴🛥️
• Scooter anarchy 🛵💥
• Camera dodge-roll survival 🎮📸
• Unlicensed aviation therapy 🪂🧠
• One good laugh. And a better view. 😮‍💨📷

—

This was Stop 6 of my 9-city post-COVID sprint through China.
One city 🏙️. One story 📖. 52 hours ⏱️ at a time.

Next stop: Changsha
Spoiler: Big Mao Zedong Head. Victor the American Rap Star. and sexy milk tea .